Tara the Turkey.

On Dec. 9th I had my first holiday dinner party. I made a turkey! Here is it's story:

Invitation:

The story of a Turkey. An innocent turkey walks along his farm (gobble, gobble) not knowing what fate awaits him. Then suddenly < WHACK> it looses it's senses. It's journey takes it to various stops of preparation until the skinless and frozen body ends up at Safeway on Broadway, where TDL, in the hopes of catching the eye of the cute Cashier Supervisor, will pick him up. From there it's adventure has only just begun! Pleasure awaits as the little body is massaged, soaked, sprinkled with fragrant spices and warmed in the oven for a marvelous feast. Let's not let this poor turkey's life go to waste! Let's enjoy it as it was meant to be..Let's eat a turkey! Please bring some other food to help make the turkey go down easier. :)

Prep:

The turkey hunt was a little complicated. There was a short supply being that this was a little after Thanksgiving. So I had to abandon the idea of visiting Safeway and go to Albertsons instead. Luckily, we found a 14 pounder ready to go on the ride of its life. Let's call her Tara.

At home Tara was pampered and treated with the utmost respect. She was placed in the fridge so as to gently bring her back room temperature. After a wonderful time communing with friends, Tara was gently bathed in warm water to remove impurities. Sighing and content, Tara was pleasantly surprised by a massage with melted butter and fragrant spices. Unfortunately, Tara was a little embarassed about the dryness of her skin..and she new that her muscles needed juicing as well before going into the Sauna ..er oven.. and crossing into Turkey Heaven. She asked me to give her a firming and juicy treatement. I obliged. I gave her a some beauty injections of butter and spices-so that the muscles underneath her skin can be nicely oiled. I also insterted some orange slices under her skin so that she can get an infusion of Vitamin C to prevent her from catchiing a cold while visiting with friends in the Fridge.

So she goes back in for another night with her friends before she goes to Turkey heaven.

Cooking:

At the appropriate hour, Tara said her goodbyes Then I thanked her for the sacrifice that she was making for the good of the hungry stomachs that were due to arrive. She went proudly with clear purpose and conviction of a great reward. God Bless you Tara!!

Off she went into the Sauna..er oven and there she was ..roasted..at 350 degrees at 1:30 pm and covered with aluminum foil. Every 30 minutes she was basted in her ..juices. And everything was seemingly fine until when 5:30 came around, she was still a little pale. :( We pierced a leg and Tara started bleeding! And then we checked her temperature (with a thermometer I got at Dollar Tree) and she was still at a mere 180! I was panicked! Of course my friends had all sorts of advice. MA felt that we should raise the temperature to 500 degrees and uncovered. She was quite hungry..having nibbled on cake and a taco ..she could not wait one second longer! So, we did that for 45 minutes. Then another friend WH told us that 500 was waaaaay to high. He said what actually cooks at 500 degrees?? So we turned it down to 450. But then my friend TEG came the rescue. She is the resident cook and the best cook that I know in Oakland. (I am sorry if you are in OAKLAND and I know you and you cook better than her..but at this moment she is the best!) By the time TEG arrived, Tara had a nice tan..but she was still bleeding from the side. So TEG said to put the foil back on and we let it cook for another 1 hour. After that we checked the temp again and it was still at 180! And her leg ws still bleeding!

Finally it was decided that we had to disrespect Tara and just hack her to pieces. (Sorry, Tara!). We took a huge knife and cut her in half only to find that she was actually done. The bleeding was from the fact that as she was cooking the blood had no where to go. LOL.

So after a little prayer was said..we all sat down to the juiciest, most flavorful turkey there ever was. I got rave reviews! MA said that she doesn't like juicy turkeys..but she liked mine! :D

So if you missed out..here are some pictures.

http://www.evite.com/pages/archive/eviteDetails.jsp?eventID=SIODAKSZXOYXARMXPSNV

Happy Holidays everyone!