Love's spot

Monday, December 18, 2006

Tara the Turkey.


On Dec. 9th I had my first holiday dinner party. I made a turkey! Here is it's story:

Invitation:

The story of a Turkey. An innocent turkey walks along his farm (gobble, gobble) not knowing what fate awaits him. Then suddenly < WHACK> it looses it's senses. It's journey takes it to various stops of preparation until the skinless and frozen body ends up at Safeway on Broadway, where TDL, in the hopes of catching the eye of the cute Cashier Supervisor, will pick him up. From there it's adventure has only just begun! Pleasure awaits as the little body is massaged, soaked, sprinkled with fragrant spices and warmed in the oven for a marvelous feast. Let's not let this poor turkey's life go to waste! Let's enjoy it as it was meant to be..Let's eat a turkey! Please bring some other food to help make the turkey go down easier. :)

Prep:

The turkey hunt was a little complicated. There was a short supply being that this was a little after Thanksgiving. So I had to abandon the idea of visiting Safeway and go to Albertsons instead. Luckily, we found a 14 pounder ready to go on the ride of its life. Let's call her Tara.

At home Tara was pampered and treated with the utmost respect. She was placed in the fridge so as to gently bring her back room temperature. After a wonderful time communing with friends, Tara was gently bathed in warm water to remove impurities. Sighing and content, Tara was pleasantly surprised by a massage with melted butter and fragrant spices. Unfortunately, Tara was a little embarassed about the dryness of her skin..and she new that her muscles needed juicing as well before going into the Sauna ..er oven.. and crossing into Turkey Heaven. She asked me to give her a firming and juicy treatement. I obliged. I gave her a some beauty injections of butter and spices-so that the muscles underneath her skin can be nicely oiled. I also insterted some orange slices under her skin so that she can get an infusion of Vitamin C to prevent her from catchiing a cold while visiting with friends in the Fridge.

So she goes back in for another night with her friends before she goes to Turkey heaven.

Cooking:

At the appropriate hour, Tara said her goodbyes Then I thanked her for the sacrifice that she was making for the good of the hungry stomachs that were due to arrive. She went proudly with clear purpose and conviction of a great reward. God Bless you Tara!!

Off she went into the Sauna..er oven and there she was ..roasted..at 350 degrees at 1:30 pm and covered with aluminum foil. Every 30 minutes she was basted in her ..juices. And everything was seemingly fine until when 5:30 came around, she was still a little pale. :( We pierced a leg and Tara started bleeding! And then we checked her temperature (with a thermometer I got at Dollar Tree) and she was still at a mere 180! I was panicked! Of course my friends had all sorts of advice. MA felt that we should raise the temperature to 500 degrees and uncovered. She was quite hungry..having nibbled on cake and a taco ..she could not wait one second longer! So, we did that for 45 minutes. Then another friend WH told us that 500 was waaaaay to high. He said what actually cooks at 500 degrees?? So we turned it down to 450. But then my friend TEG came the rescue. She is the resident cook and the best cook that I know in Oakland. (I am sorry if you are in OAKLAND and I know you and you cook better than her..but at this moment she is the best!) By the time TEG arrived, Tara had a nice tan..but she was still bleeding from the side. So TEG said to put the foil back on and we let it cook for another 1 hour. After that we checked the temp again and it was still at 180! And her leg ws still bleeding!

Finally it was decided that we had to disrespect Tara and just hack her to pieces. (Sorry, Tara!). We took a huge knife and cut her in half only to find that she was actually done. The bleeding was from the fact that as she was cooking the blood had no where to go. LOL.

So after a little prayer was said..we all sat down to the juiciest, most flavorful turkey there ever was. I got rave reviews! MA said that she doesn't like juicy turkeys..but she liked mine! :D

So if you missed out..here are some pictures.

http://www.evite.com/pages/archive/eviteDetails.jsp?eventID=SIODAKSZXOYXARMXPSNV

Happy Holidays everyone!

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Life is Hard. :(

Growing up did you have someone sit down and tell you how hard life is?

I wish my mother taught me how hard it is to live on your own: rent, PGE, Water, Garbage, Credit Cards, phone bills, student loans, Christmas, Birthdays, Dates, "Can I borrow some money?", TAXES!!  How the credit system is unfair. How working and going to school is exhausting. How you might want things..and you might never get them. That  beauty is in the eye of the beholder. How mean some people can be. The pressure of not having things when your friends do. Knowing who your real friends are..and your 'associates'. The pain of childbirth. The loneliness of dating. The sadness of death. The danger of our streets.  Wondering if God is listening when you can't hear Him.

I wish I had someone in my life to tell me.   

Do you think that maybe the problem with some of our youth is that they never had someone tell them? That they NEED someone to tell them. Some of us don't need that. We persevere through the tough times. We struggle without asking for help. We deal the best that we can. True soilders in the battle of life.

I'm not one of those people. I admire the Hell out of them and I wish they would help me figure it all out. 

However until that day comes..I will talk about it and maybe get some good advice.

In return..I will share what I learned. One day if I have kids: I am going to tell them EVERYTHING. I am not going to be ashamed ..I'll tell it all (age appropriate of course). I am going to restart the tradition. I am going to sit in my rocking chair (I have to buy one) and crochet and have Little Love listen to my stories.

I hope those of you who have children will do the same.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

We Still Wear The Mask

I found this on www.hotghettomess.com's forum. (Thanks Iisha!). Definitely made me think. :|

We Still Wear The Mask By Dr.William Jelani Cobb

We could have known that it would come to this way back in 1896. That
was the year that Paul Lawrence Dunbar dropped a jewel for the ages,
telling the world that "we wear the mask that grins and lies." The
poet's point was that beneath the camouflage of subservient smiles,
black folks of the Jim Crow era were hiding a powder keg of other
emotions, waiting patiently for the chance to detonate. The thing is,
Dunbar never got the chance to spit bars with 50 Cent or throw in a
guest collabo on a Mobb Deep album. If he had, then he would've known
that grins and lies were only half the story.

These days, camouflage is the new black. Glance at hip hop for less
than a second and it becomes clear that the music operates on a single
hope: that if the world mistakes kindness for weakness it can also be
led to confuse meanness with strength. That principle explains why
there is a permanent reverence for the thug within the music; it is
why there is a murderer's grit and a jailhouse tat peering back at you
from the cover of damn near any CD you picked up in the last five
years. But what hip hop can't tell you, the secret that it would just
as soon take to its deathbed is that it this urban bravado is a guise,
a mask, a head-fake to shake the reality of fear and powerlessness in
America. Hip hop will never admit that our assorted thugs and gangstas
are not the unbowed symbol of resistance to marginalization, but the
most complacent and passive products of it.
We wear the mask that scowls and lies.

You could see which way the wind was blowing way in the early 90s when
Dr. Dre was being ripped off by white Ruthless Records CEO Jerry
Heller, and nonetheless got his street cred up by punching and kicking
Dee Barnes, a black woman journalist, down a flight of stairs. In this
light, hip hop's obsessive misogyny makes a whole lot more sense. It
is literally the logic of domestic violence. A man is abused by a
larger society, but there are consequences to striking back at the
source of his problems. So he transfers his anger to an acceptable
outlet – the women and children in his own household, and by
extension, all the black people who constitute his own community.
Nothing better illustrates that point than the recent Oprah Debacle.
Prior to last month, if you'd heard that a group of rappers had teamed
up to attack a billionaire media mogul you would think that hip hop
had finally produced a moment of collective pride on par with the
black power fists of the 1968 Olympics. But nay, just more blackface.
In the past two months, artists as diverse as Ludacris, 50 Cent and
Ice Cube have attacked Oprah Winfrey for her alleged disdain for hip
hop. It's is a sad but entirely predictable irony that the one
instance in which hip hop's reigning alpha males summon the testicular
fortitude to challenge someone more powerful and wealthy than they
are, they choose to go after a black woman.

The whole set up was an echo of some bad history. Two centuries ago,
professional boxing got its start in America with white slaveholders
who pitted their largest slaves against those from competing
plantations. Tom Molineaux. First black heavyweight champion came up
through the ranks breaking the bones of other slaves and making white
men rich. After he'd broken enough of them, he was given his freedom.
The underlying ethic was clear: an attack on the system that has made
a slave of you will cost you your life, but an attack on another black
person might just be the road to emancipation.

The basis for this latest bout of black-on-black pugilism was Oprah's
purported stiff-arming of Ludacris during an appearance on her show
with the cast of the film Crash. Ludacris later complained that the
host had made an issue of lyrics she saw as misogynistic. Cube jumped
into the act whining that Oprah has had all manner of racist flotsam
on her show but has never invited him to appear – proof, in his mind,
that she has an irrational contempt for hip hop. Then 50 threw in his
two cents with a claim that Oprah's criticism of hip hop was an
attempt to win points with her largely white, middle class audience.
All told, she was charged her with that most heinous of hip hop's
felonies: hateration.

But before we press charges, isn't 50 the same character who openly
expressed his love for GW Bush as a fellow "gangsta" and demanded that
the black community stop criticizing how he handled Hurricane Katrina?
Compare that to multiple millions that Oprah has disseminated to our
communities (including building homes for the Katrina families,
financing HIV prevention in South Africa and that $5 million she
dropped on Morehouse College alone) and the idea of an ex-crack dealer
challenging her commitment to black folk becomes even more surreal.
In spite of – or, actually, as a result of -- his impeccable gangsta
credentials, 50 basically curtsied before a President who stayed on
vacation for three days while black bodies floated down the New
Orleans streets. No wonder it took a middle-class preppie with an
African name and no criminal record to man-up and tell the whole world
that "George Bush don't care about black folks." No wonder David
Banner – a rapper who is just a few credits short of a Master's Degree
in social work -- spearheaded hip hop's Katrina relief concerts, not
any of his thug counterparts who are eternally shouting out the hoods
they allegedly love.

The 50 Cent, whose music is a panoramic vision on black-on-black
homicide, and who went after crosstown rival Ja Rule with the
vengeance of a dictator killing off a hated ethnic minority did
everything but tap dance when Reebok told him to dismantle his porn
production company or lose his lucrative sneaker endorsement deal.
But why single out 50? Hip hop at-large was conspicuously silent when
Bush press secretary Tony Snow (a rapper's alias if ever there was
one) assaulted hip hop in terms way more inflammatory than Oprah's
mild request:

"Take a look at the idiotic culture of hip-hop and whaddya have? You
have people glorifying failure. You have a bunch of gold-toothed hot
dogs become millionaires by running around and telling everybody else
that they oughtta be miserable failures and if they're really lucky
maybe they can get gunned down in a diner sometime, like Eminem's old
running mate."

(We're still awaiting an outraged response from the thug community for
that one.) Rush Limbaugh has blamed hip hop for everything short of
the Avian flu but I can't recall a single hip hop artist who has gone
after him lyrically, publicly or physically. Are we seeing a theme
yet?

It's worth noting that Ludacris did not devote as much energy to Bill
O'Reilly -- who attacked his music on his show regularly and caused
him to lose a multi-million dollar Pepsi endorsement – as he did to
criticizing Oprah who simply stated that she was tired of hip hop's
misogyny. Luda was content to diss O'Reilly on his next record and go
about his business. Anyone who heard the interview that Oprah gave on
Power 105.1 in New York knew she was speaking for a whole generation
of hip hop heads when she said that she loved the music, but she
wanted the artists to exercise some responsibility. But this response
is not really about Oprah, or ultimately about hip hop, either. It is
about black men once again choosing a black woman as the safest target
for their aggression and even one with a billion dollars is still fair
game.

Of all their claims, the charge that Oprah sold out to win points with
her white audience is the most tragically laughable. The truth is that
her audience's white middle-class kids exert waaay more influence over
50 and Cube than their parents do over Oprah.   I long ago tired of
Cube, a thirty-something successful director, entrepreneur and married
father of three children making records about his aged recollections
of a thug's life. The gangsta theme went cliché eons ago, but Cube, 50
and a whole array of their musical peers lack either the freedom or
the vision to talk about any broader element of our lives. The reality
is that the major labels and their majority white fan base will not
accept anything else from them.
And there we have it again: more masks, more lies.

It is not coincidental that hip hop has made Ni@$a the most common
noun in popular music but you have almost never heard any certified
thug utter the word cracker, ofay, honky, peckerwood, wop, dago,
guinea, kike or any other white-oriented epithet. The reason for that
is simple: Massa ain't havin' it. The word fag, once a commonplace
derisive in the music has all but disappeared from hip hop's
vocabulary. (Yes, these thugs fear the backlash from white gays too.)
And bitch is still allowed with the common understanding that the term
is referring to black women. The point is this: debasement of black
communities is entirely acceptable – required even – by hip hop's
predominantly white consumer base.

We have lived enough history to know better by now – to know that
gangsta is Sonny Liston, the thug icon of his era, threatening to kill
Cassius Clay but  completely impotent when it came to demanding that
his white handlers stop stealing his money. Gangsta is the black men
at the Parchman Farm prison in Mississippi who beat the civil rights
workers Fannie Lou Hamer and Annell Ponder into bloody unconsciousness
because their white wardens told them to. Gangsta is Michael Ervin,
NFL bad boy remaining conspicuously mute on Monday Night Football
while Limbaugh dissed Donovan McNabb as an Affirmative Action athlete.
Gangsta is Bigger Thomas with dilated pupils and every other
sweaty-palmed black boy who saw method acting and an attitude as his
ticket out of the ghetto.

Surely our ancestors' struggles were about more than creating
millionaires who could care less about us and then tolerating their
violent disrespect out of a hunger for black success stories. Surely
we are not so desperate for heroes that we uphold cardboard icons
because they throw good glare. There's more required than that. The
weight of history demands more than simply this. Surely we understand
that these men are acting out an age-old script. Taking the Tom
Molineaux route. Spitting in the wind and breaking black bones. Hoping
to become free.
Or, at least a well-paid slave.

Sunday, December 03, 2006

How do I feel?



I don’t know.

Happy to hear anything.
An email, a text message. Anything.

Angry and irritated at how easy it is for me
to be hurt. Pissed.

Anxiety and worry.
What should I do? Should I change?
Why?

Terrified. I don't want to hurt him.

Awkward. What do I say, how will it be received?

Lost in those deep brown eyes, too nervous and shy to stay there.
I hate that.

Curious, intrigued, in awe and impressed. He’s so smart.

Playful and excited because it’s fun. And scary.

How do I feel? Confused. What happens next?
I don't know.

But I like it.